Choose
by Miles Above My Head
Summary: Natara Williams' life is going perfectly. Her boyfriend, Oscar Santos, proposed to her. Everything is going fine, unless Mal decides to change that? This was totally worth writing, even with all of the knives you'll be throwing at me. No regrets. I have all four chapters finished so expect updates on this one!
1. Confess

_I was seriously debating whether to post this or not because you'll all hate me for the rest of my life and never wanna speak to me again. But then I was all like YOLO. I'm not even sorry. BRING ON DA HATE, GUYS. I CAN SLEEP WITH MY EYES OPEN._

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**Choose  
Chapter One – Confess**

Natara Williams wasn't one to have love come to her in drones. She was usually lucky to find someone nice once, maybe twice a year. Sure, she was beautiful. Yes, she was smart. Of course she was a wonderful person to be around. But love just didn't tend to come her way.

It was a strange sensation, therefore, having two men essentially 'fighting' for her.

"Oscar…proposed."

Mal's stomach dropped to his feet and he clenched his fists. Oscar Santos…marrying _his _partner. He, Mal, was supposed to tell her how he felt. He was supposed to win her over. But handsome, charming, bold Oscar had gotten to her first.

"That's…wow. Nat, that's great." The words spilled out of his mouth, tasting like bile.

"Yeah," she said. "I suppose."

_No_. He thought to himself. _That is the opposite of "great." It's horrible, in fact. It will cause the world to end. My world, anyway._

"He's really lucky," Mal said. "You're a really special girl."

Natara blushed crimson. "Thanks."

"No, I mean it. You're really special. You're beautiful, funny, sweet, and on top of that, a genius. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you…forever…" Mal frowned. "…forever."

"Are you okay?" She put a hand on his shoulder. "You seem upset."

"'Course I'm okay. I just," he paused. "I have something to tell you."

"Alright. Want to grab some Chinese or something?"

"Yeah." Mal smiled. "I'd love to."

* * *

"Okay." Natara giggled. "Confession. When I was little, I was obsessed with _My Little Pony_."

"_What_?" Mal laughed. "You? You're kidding me."

"Nope. Totally true! I had every one they made and I lined them all up on my dresser and brushed their tales…" She stopped, realizing Mal couldn't hear the rest of the details as he had fallen onto his back in laughter. "Stop it!"

"Special Agent Natara Williams," he gasped, eyes watering. "The _My Little Pony _fanatic. It's too perfect. Wait until Kai hears…"

At which point, she jumped on top of him and pinned his arms to the ground.

"Don't you dare!"

"Oh but he would _love _to hear all of the Young Natara Williams stories…!"

"Mal Fallon, I swear if you breathe one word of this to him…" She leaned in close so their faces were barely an inch apart and her breath tickled his lips. "…I will personally become a murderer, just for you."

"Aw you'd do that for me! That's so sweet!" He laughed.

She released one of his arms to clap a hand over his mouth, enabling him to grab her around the waist and roll so he had the upper hand.

"For a special agent of the FBI," he said, pinning her arms down. "You'd think you could fight better."

Suddenly her body went limp and her eyes closed.

"Nat?" He got up. "Natara?"

"Ha!"

She sprung up and stood in front of him triumphantly.

"For a detective," she said, smirking. "You'd think you could spot a fake."

* * *

"So what did you want to tell me?" Natara asked Mal, keeping her eyes closed, head in his lap.

"Oh uh…"

"Come on, you can tell me anything." She sat up and faced him. "Anything. Please tell me?"

"Okay well…" He hesitated. "Remember when we met?"

"Of course. We were looking at a body, thanks to Eric."

"Right well, remember when I walked over and asked what you were doing, and you stood up and looked at me?"

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"I've loved you since that moment."


	2. Decide

****_You have been lulled into a false sense of security.. You have been warned._

**Choose  
Chapter Two – Decide**

"You're in love with me?"

"A little… Well, a lot."

"Since…since we first met?"

Mal nodded.

"Okay," Natara said, shaking her head to clear it. "And you're telling me now because Oscar proposed and you don't want me to marry him because you love me?"

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"But Mal, I can't…I can't just…I love Oscar…"

"Do you? You've seemed really sad lately but when we're together you're always so happy and full of life and laughing… We have the best times together, Natara. Don't you see it?"

"But we're best friends! Of course we have good times. But I have fun with Oscar too, I…" Her voice trailed off.

"Please?" he begged gently. "Please just think about us? Best friends, falling in love… Doesn't it sound perfect?"

"Yes, but…" She stopped at the look on Mal's face. "Okay," she said carefully. "I'll think about it."

"He told me he loves me."

She hadn't seen her fiancé since she'd uttered those six words. Maybe he thought she loved him back. At the moment, she was hardly sure what love was. She'd always thought her and Mal were on the same page. They were great friends. She loved him…as a friend, didn't she? She'd jump in front of a bullet for him or do anything for him, really, but that didn't mean she loved him, did it?

She typed into her phone quickly.

_Text Message  
To: Oscar Santos  
Oscar, please answer. We need to talk.  
Natara_

She sat on the edge of her bed, anxious, until his reply came in fifteen minutes later.

_Text Message  
From: Oscar Santos  
About?  
Oscar_

She refrained from rolling her eyes with difficultly and responded.

_Text Message  
To: Oscar Santos  
Meet me at the park?  
Natara_

_Text Message  
From: Oscar Santos  
Twenty minutes.  
Oscar_

Twenty minutes later, Natara could be seen on a red park bench, bobbing her leg up and down nervously until a handsome man with black hair and a suit on approached her. She shot up.

"Oscar!"

"Natara."

"You didn't understand me."

"At which point?"

"Mal told me he loved me… He said he loved me ever since we first met. But, I…"

"So he was a coward and didn't say anything," Oscar interrupted. "While I proposed and you'll go to him anyway?"

"I said I didn't know how I felt," Natara mumbled.

"Oh, that's just great. So you don't know how you feel about me either? This isn't fair, Nat!" He slammed his fist on the back of the bench angrily. "You told me you loved me, you agreed to marry me, but one other man says he loves you and you suddenly question everything? You obviously aren't sure enough to go through with this."

"No!" Natara was on the verge of tears. "Oscar, please! I _do _love you. It's just, it's _Mal_. He's my best friend. I thought I loved him as a best friend. But it's just…it's Mal. I just don't know right now."

Oscar nodded slowly. "I understand. I'm sorry. You're only human."

"Thank you. What do you think I should do?"

"I think you need time to think. Talk to Mal again, if you feel up to it. And Natara?"

"Yeah?"

"If you pick him…I won't be mad."


	3. Crush

****_So is anyone else in Camp NaNoWriMo? Day one and it isn't going so well for me... 539 words and counting. It took me, no joke, the better part of five hours just to get my first sentence down. Asdfghjkl; Such stress. Well anyway, my story is about a girl that lives in space. Clever right? (; WISH ME LUCK. 49,500 words to go...The clock is ticking... I'd best get on that. ENJOY CHAPTER THREE!_

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**Choose**

**Chapter Three – Crush**

She would have to break a heart either way. They both said they loved her. Who does she accept?

Mal knew everything about her. He was her partner. He was her best friend. He was handsome, funny, charming, and all around an amazing person. But Oscar…

Oscar was…indescribable. She remembered when he first started talking to her. She was amazed that the handsome district attorney would actually be interested in her. Then he asked her out…

She had those butterflies like when she'd had crushes back in high school. He'd been so fun to be around any time they could. Of course, their jobs only allowed limited time together. That was one of the benefits of being friends with Mal.

They got off work together and could go out afterwards for dinner or just to hang out and catch up. Oscar worked different hours, with a different job. His was just as unpredictable as hers, and he never seemed to understand when she talked about work. Of course, that's why she was friends with Mal.

Being with Oscar didn't mean she'd lose Mal as a friend, would it? She would still have Mal, her best friend, right? The Mal she could talk to about work, eat Chinese with, be partners with…

Or would he want nothing to do with her once she was married to someone else.

That was when the headache began.

* * *

"How am I supposed to choose who to hurt?" Natara asked Amy one day over the phone. The girls remained in contact occasionally even though Amy had left.

"Maybe you're thinking about it the wrong way," Amy said, optimistic as always. "Maybe you aren't supposed to be choosing who to hurt, but who to love?"

"This isn't a glass half full, half empty kind of thing, Ames. I think it's a little different."

"Yeah," Amy mused. "I guess so. But really, what if you were with Mal? That would be so amazing. You guys are partners and you could be like a crime fighting couple!"

"If you take that Kai-tone with me one more time, I'm hanging up."

"Sorry, okay. Maybe you should list some things about each of them."

"You make it sound like I'm choosing objects."

"Maybe if you think of it like that you'll stop worrying about which one you'll be hurting."

* * *

Mal: Best friend, partner, charming, hilarious, understanding, sweet, cheesy-romantic, mysterious

Oscar: Familiar, history, handsome, fiancé, kind, caring, willing to try to understand, romantic, loving, bold, honest

_Best friend._ Her eyes kept jumping to the first quality on Mal's list. _Best friend._

They were best friends. Best friends know each other better than anyone else. She didn't want to do anything to lose him, but she honestly didn't know if it would be possible to lose him. _Best friend. _They were so close…

And she suddenly knew what she had to do.


	4. Care

_Okay, if you would like, I will write an epilogue to fill in the missing pieces that I didn't spell out for you. Just let me know. If I get enough reviews, I'll be happy to do it. So, in other news, My Little Pony. How perfect is that. Twilight Sparkle is my best friend. Okay bye._

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**Choose**

**Chapter Four – Care**

"I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I can't love you the way you love me. I'm so, so sorry."

Those were the most painful words he would ever have to hear in his life, but he wasn't mad. If she was happy, he would never be mad about her decision. He would never hold it against her. Because he still loved her, and if this is what she wanted, then so be it.

* Ten Months Later *

She wiggled one of her feet into the high heel shoe and smiled. Today was the day. And she had no regrets or worries about what she was about to do.

It felt right.

Her dress was sleeveless and had lace about the top. It was a pure, snowy white and it was everything she had ever dreamed of having for this special day. When she had her shoes on and looked up into the mirror, she beamed. Three faces beamed back at her. Her mother, her sister, and the man who loved her, who was about to take the place of her father and give her away to the one she had chosen.

They lined up at the back of the chapel. This was it.

The music began.

The procession slowly moved forward. Natara took a deep breath and looked up at the man holding her arm.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Anything for my little pony girl."

* Two Years Later *

My mom pulls loose strands of hair back from my face and twists them into a French braid for my first day of school. My long, black hair falls onto my back and she secures it with a rubber band.

"Natara, my love, you should be a hair stylist."

My mom laughs and spins around to look at my father, who just appeared in the doorway of my bedroom. My bedroom is adorned with pink wallpaper and matching pink curtains and a fuzzy rug. My bedspread is purple. On my dresser, lined up perfectly, sit five _My Little Pony_ toys. One for each of my birthdays. Gifts from my godfather.

"You're right. Let me just quit my job as a top profiler for the FBI and start living that dream. It is definitely my calling!"

My father walks over and kisses my forehead lightly.

"Excited for your first day of kindergarten, princess?"

I nod and my mother and father each take one of my hands and we walk to my new school.

My name is Emma Santos, and my family is perfect.


	5. Epilogue: Mal

_I'm sorry. I know this was totally crazy. But I just couldn't. I couldn't leave it. I promised an Epilogue and I just couldn't leave the end like that. I really like the end, but I still just _couldn't_ let it go. I know the way things worked out were kind of crazy but...whatever. I don't even care._

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**Choose  
Epilogue – Mal**

"Honey, are you okay?"

Rachel walked over and sat next to Mal on the bed and he flicked his phone closed.

"What are you hiding on that phone?" his wife demanded suddenly, grabbing the phone.

"Nothing!" he said, desperately trying to grab the phone back.

"Who's this?"

A picture of Natara flashed onto the screen as she opened it and Mal blushed for the first time in years.

"That's…" He blinked. "That's an old, old friend."

"She's ugly."

Red flashed in Mal's eyes. "She is _beautiful_," he said forcefully. "She is the most beautiful girl I've ever known in my life."

"_What_?"

But Mal was too busy slamming the door to regret what he'd said. He stormed through the rain angrily, hands in his pockets. Before he knew it, he was at the door of the motel room Natara stayed in when she had just come to San Francisco. Back when Mal had still had his chance. Before he blew it.

He didn't know why, but he was knocking. She didn't live there anymore. She'd moved to the suburbs with Oscar years ago. They'd lost touch already. Who knows who was staying here now? But he was knocking desperately, trying to reach the past.

The door opened hesitantly and Mal prepared to apologize and say he had the wrong apartment, but he didn't. He didn't have the wrong apartment. In front of him, standing in the doorway shocked, was Natara Williams.

"N-Nat?"

"How did you know I was here?" she whispered, tears in her eyes. "How did you find me?"

"I…I didn't. I didn't know. I don't know why I came, I just…"

Natara flung her arms around him and he felt tears spilling onto his back, effectively cutting off his stuttering explanation.

"Mal, I didn't want this to happen!" she cried. "I didn't want to lose you! I just didn't know what to do. You understand, don't you? I just…I was engaged. And you just told me you loved me. Maybe if it had been before; if it had been sooner…"

"Shh," Mal said gently, patting her back awkwardly. "It's okay. I understand. It's alright, Nat. Relax; I'm here."

"Mal, I didn't want to lose you, but I didn't know what to do!"

"I know, Nat," he whispered. "You haven't lost me. I'm right here."

"Okay," Natara said quietly. "I love you, Mal. I love you. You're my best friend. You know that right? You always have been."

"I know. I love you too. You know I do."

"Do you want to come inside? Oscar is in here. So is Emma, my daughter. She's five. I actually…" She trailed off, blushing. "I wanted you to be her godfather…"

"Natara, I'm honored, really. But if I may, why are you all in this motel room?"

"I'll explain in a bit, it's a long story."

"Are you sure it's alright if I come inside with Oscar here?"

"Yes, of course," Natara said, but bit her lip hesitantly. "Actually, would you mind waiting over there in the stairwell for a minute?"

"Sure…"

Five minutes later, Natara came over and took his hand, pulling him back over to the motel room.

"This is Emma," she introduced him to the little girl hobbling around inside.

"She looks just like you," Mal said sadly. "But she has…"

"Oscar's eyes, I know," she answered, rolling her own brown ones. "Says you and everyone else that sees her."

"You don't seem too excited by that."

"It bugs me," Natara says. "I think it's because…" She blushes a deep red.

"What is it?"

"I think…it's because…ever since I met you I pictured my daughter with bright blue eyes, like the sea," she said shyly.

Mal smiled knowingly. "I pictured her with chocolate brown hair, like yours."

"She'd be beautiful," Natara said quietly.

"Yeah," Mal whispered.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Natara looked down at her feet, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," Mal said. "It's all my fault. If I'd just stopped being an idiot and told you how I felt sooner…"

"Mal," Natara said hoarsely, shaking her head. "Don't."

"What?" he asked blankly, seeing a tear escape her eye.

"Don't, please don't. You have no idea how many nights I lie awake, wondering what that would have been like. I've wanted to know for so long. Please, don't make this harder."

Mal cleared his throat. "Sorry." He paused for a while, then said uncomfortably, "Maybe I should just go."

"Maybe you should."

Neither of them moved.

"I really have…missed you," Natara said awkwardly.

"I've missed you too."

"So where did Oscar go?" Mal asked after an expanse of awkward, nostalgic silence.

"I sent him to the store for diapers. He will be back any second, probably."

"I guess I better get going, so he doesn't see me around here."

"Yeah, take the back exit to be safe, I'd say," Natara said.

"Got it." Mal opened the door and began to walk out.

"Mal!" Natara cried out right before it closed all the way. He stopped and turned back in time to see her running at him, tears streaming down her face now.

She flung her arms around him once again and kissed him so forcefully it almost knocked him backwards.

After a second, or maybe several seconds, or maybe days, or months, they broke apart and Natara looked up into the deep expanse of sea that lived in his eyes and smiled sadly.

"Just wondering," she whispered.

"I always knew it was you," he answered quietly.

"Always."

And then she shut the door on him, took a deep breath, and began to cook an elegant dinner for her husband and two year old daughter.

* * *

"Be good for mommy, Emma. Don't cause any trouble, okay?" Oscar said as he dropped me off. "I love you."

"Love you too, daddy," I answer as he kisses me on the forehead. I get out of the car and wave as he pulls away. I walk up the narrow driveway and use my pink, personally made key to open the front door.

"Mommy!" I call out. "I'm here!"

"Hey, kiddo!" she says as she walks quickly over to me and pulls me into a hug. "How was your weekend with daddy?"

"It was fun I guess." I look around. "Where's Mal?"

"He's in the bedroom taking a nap. He's really excited to see you again, sweetie."

"Is he going to take me to the zoo again?" I ask hopefully.

My mom laughs. "I don't know, Em. But I wouldn't be surprised; he loves you _so _much."

"I love him too, mommy. Can't I just stay here forever with you and him?"

"Oh baby, I wish you could. But you know daddy would be angry if he didn't get time with you too."

"He doesn't like me, mommy. He just leaves me at home and tells me to stay in my room."

"I'll talk to him about that, hun," she says and I can tell she's repressing her full anger at what I said.

"Can't Mal adopt me and then I'd be his daughter too? Then we'd be a real family!" I pause. "And you and him could get married!" I giggle at my great idea.

I notice through my giggles that my mommy glances at her hand, and I see a pretty ring on her finger. She hadn't worn any rings since daddy moved to a different house.

"Mommy, what's that?"

"This is a present from Mal," she whispered, a smile tugging at her lips. "He wants us to be a real family, too."

"Really?" I ask, excited.

Just then, Mal walks in, his hair standing straight up from lying in bed and tossing around.

"Emma!" he yells, running over and scooping me up. I giggle happily.

"Daddy!" I cry back at him and he pauses for a second.

"Daddy?" he repeats, confused.

"You and mommy are getting married and then you'll be my daddy, right?"

Mal turns to my mommy and beams at her.

"You bet, kid. We're going to be a _real _family. I promise."

He sets me down on the couch and takes my mommy's hands.

"Always."

"Kiss her already!" I yell in his ear, making him jump, causing me to burst into giggles again.

My mommy leans forward and kisses Mal and I smile. Sometimes, I wonder how those two would manage without me helping them along.

They break apart and Mal grabs me again carrying me into our den with mommy trailing behind. He sets me down and I grab my favorite board game and start setting it up in the middle of the rug.

"Okay," I say bossily. "I'm going to be the blue gingerbread. Mommy will be red. And daddy is green."

I watch as Mal grins ear to ear, apparently just because I called him my daddy. Jeez, that guy is so easy to please.

My mommy leans over and whispers in Mal's ear, thinking I can't hear. "I'm going to kick your ass, Mr. Fallon."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong, Mrs. Fallon," he teases back. "I just so happen to be the king of Candyland."

And that is when I realize that my family doesn't have to be my real mommy and daddy and me together. This family will be perfect too, because Mal will be a perfect daddy, and my mommy already is perfect. And I'm completely happy with this version of perfect.

My name is Emma Santos, and my new family is perfect, too.


End file.
